The Family Tech Reset: Hope and Help for Rebuilding Connection

The St. John Parent Association, in partnership with ParentMap, provided an opportunity to hear Andrea Davis, educator and founder of Better Screen Time on May 12, 2026.

Link to this and all previous ParentEd videos: https://vimeo.com/showcase/parentedtalks-25-26

Access password: edTalks*2526

Key Takeaways:

“It’s never too early to start thinking about tech and never too late to backtrack.”

– Andrea Davis

“I reserve the right to be wiser today than I was yesterday.”

-Andrea Davis, when pulling back on anything (tech-related or otherwise) she previously permitted and changed her mind.

Focus on developmental appropriateness: Technology evolves faster than research and regulations. The safest path for parents to take when introducing their kids to technology is a slow one. Consider your child’s developmental needs. Children still need the same foundations they always have: love, sleep, physical activity, learning, purpose, and good nutrition.
Worry less by being intentional: Parents can reduce anxiety around technology by:
- Learning about the technology their children are using and the research surrounding it.
- Creating a Family Technology Plan that outlines expectations and evolves as children grow.
- Revisiting the plan regularly when new challenges arise.
Model healthy technology habits: Children notice how adults use technology. Communicate openly about your own screen use so it feels purposeful rather than distracting. It is useful to “live your tech life outloud” by communicating to your kids what you are doing, how much time it will take, and what will come next when you complete a task. Example: “I am sending a work email right now. It will take me 5 minutes. When I am finished, you can help me make dinner and we will spend some time together.” Also consider applying household technology rules to yourself as well. If bedrooms are screen-free for children, think about whether adults can model the same expectation.
Think carefully about early technology exposure: Technology is reaching children at younger ages, including through AI-powered toys. Before introducing new devices or products, consider what technology is being used and how it may shape your child’s experiences and relationships.
Rethink screen time as a reward: Using screen time as a reward can unintentionally increase its perceived value and create more conflict around access. While it is reasonable to expect chores, homework, or responsibilities to be completed first, try not to position screens as the ultimate prize.
Introduce technology gradually: The best way to introduce your child to technology is to do it slowly and based on their development.
- Think about your child’s emotional maturity and responsibility level. Bring your kids into the discussion to determine if they are ready. Use the “Am I Ready for a Personal Device?” assessment from Davis’ website.
- Avoid all or nothing thinking. Rather, use a smartphone stairstep approach, introducing the most basic technology first. Then, step up to the next level of technology based on need and developmental readiness.
- Similarly, social media should be introduced deliberately. Readiness varies widely from child to child.
Avoid group texts/chats as first exposure: Group chats are often a child’s first exposure to digital communication, sometimes before they own a phone, and occurring in 4th or 5th grade. This can create problems at home and at school. Instead, introduce one-to-one texting or small conversations before large group chats.
Pick the right device for the job: The variety of devices available provides parents with the opportunity to pick the right device based on the need and their child’s development.
- True brick phones offer talk/text but not group text or internet access. Example: Basic Nokia phone with SIM card and no data plan.
- Kid-focused smartphones with limits offer greater parental oversight built into the device. Examples: Pinwheel, Gabb phone, Bark phone
- Smartphones paired with third party apps offer some parental monitoring. Examples: iPhone, Android phones.
Set clear boundaries and hold them: Kids will push back on boundaries; your job as a parent is to keep the boundary. Explain expectations during calm moments, including why a particular limit exists and how it supports their well-being. As children mature and demonstrate responsibility, boundaries can evolve.
When problems arise, consider a reset: Sometimes families need to step back from technology they have already allowed. Common challenges involve social media, gaming, web browsing, and online sports content. If you need a tech reset, consider your child’s age (be more assertive with younger kids), your child’s temperament, and the relationship you have with your child. Rather than removing all technology at once, consider stepping back on level on the “stairstep.” When possible, offer a meaningful replacement. For example, if you take away Roblox, offer them a Mark Rober Build Box kit.
Focus on the big picture: Conversations about technology should not only be about restrictions. Help children think about what they gain when they spend time on other activities—whether that is music, sports, creativity, friendships, service, or outdoor play. Talk openly about the persuasive and addictive design of technology, and invite your children into those conversations.
Prioritize sleep: Healthy sleep is one of the most important protective factors for children and teens. Establish technology expectations that support consistent, high-quality sleep.
Find support: Many parents feel pressure when it seems that other children have fewer technology limits. Building relationships with families who share similar values and expectations can provide encouragement and support. Consider hosting an event, surveying your friends, and talking about tech with people you meet. Technology challenges are easier to navigate when parents know they are not doing it alone.

Additional resources

Popular ParentMap articles:

Resources from speaker Andrea Davis: