Cracking the Teen Code: Spot Trouble, Build Trust and Stay Connected with Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart

The St. John Parent Association, in partnership with ParentMap, provided an opportunity to hear Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart speak to our community on October 23, 2025. Dr. Lockhart a pediatric psychologist and parent coach, and upcoming author of the book “Love the Tean You Have,” provided valuable information on how to engage with teenagers by meeting them where they are at and being curious about their experiences.  

Link to video: https://vimeo.com/showcase/parentedtalks-25-26

Access password: edTalks*2526

Key Takeaways

Communication Strategies

Dr. Lockhart advocated for “joining the resistance” by embracing teens’ preferred communication methods like texting. She emphasized building connection with teens being present through shared activities while respecting privacy needs and avoiding excessive lecturing.

Managing Homework

She recommended practical approaches, including time tracking, to help teens manage their workload and combat “time blindness.”  Two methods she recommended are the Pomodoro method (e.g., 15-20 minute periods of focused work followed by a break) and motivational apps like “Focus Keeper” 

Emotional Regulation

Parents were advised to respond rather than react, suggesting techniques like taking “rage walks” and using code words with coparents to signal high emotions. She emphasized modeling humility and admitting mistakes while maintaining boundaries.

Friendships and Social Connection

Dr. Lockhart recommended encouraging teens to be proactive in making their own plans, suggesting meeting at central locations or before events for those living far from friends.

Mental Health Awareness

She identified certain criteria parents can use to help distinguish between normal and clinical levels of anxiety and depression, emphasizing the importance of understanding situational versus chronic symptoms.

Supporting Neurodivergent Teens

Dr. Lockhart stressed the importance of teens to be able to identify their diagnosis, understand what it means, and understand how it shows up for the teen.  She recommended focusing first on strengths before addressing challenges.

Technology and AI

Parents were advised to understand and monitor their teens’ AI usage, staying curious about significant changes in usage patterns and what tools the are using.  Not all AI is the same.

Motivation and Chores

She suggested making chores reasonable and pairing them with enjoyable activities, like music, to increase motivation.

Closing Message

Dr. Lockhart emphasized that it’s never too late to repair relationships with teens, offering hope for parent-teen relationship improvement.

Additional Resources from ParentMap:

Speaker Links:

Recommended apps: Pomodoro Focus Timer | Focus Friend