The Lost Art of Civility: Raising Respectful Kids with Robert B. Brooks and Sam Goldstein

The St. John Parent Association, in partnership with ParentMap, provided an opportunity to hear Robert B. Brooks and Sam Goldstein, coauthors of Tenacity in Children and The Power of Resilience speak to our community on February 25, 2025. Brooks and Goldstein shared insights on promoting empathy and encouraging constructive dialogue at home, school, and beyond.

Key Takeaways

  1. Civility refers to interacting with the world in a way that you would hope the world would interact with you. This includes respect for others (even if you disagree with them), kindness, openness to listening, using polite words.
  2. Resilient mindset, or the process by which you cope with adversity over time, relates to civility.
  3. Incivility is increasing in our society; there are often no consequences for acting this way. We all see this, and it impacts our behavior and our family lives.
  4. Context is key. Consider the situation, the history, and the specific people involved in a situation when talking to your kids about civility. Think about opportunities to allow your kids to be empathetic. Don’t force it.
  5. Key strategies to promote civility:
    • Model civility – demonstrate kindness, patience, respectful communication, validate experiences.
      • As a parent, own up to it when you have demonstrated behavior that is uncivil.
      • Use “I need your help” when asking your kids to do something you expect they won’t want to do. They are more likely to comply.
    • Foster empathy – help your child understand different perspectives and emotions.
    • Teach emotional regulation – encourage pausing and thinking before reacting.
    • Set clear expectations – define and reinforce respectful behavior.
    • Create opportunities to contribute – engage your child in acts of kindness and community service.
    • Promote assertiveness, not aggression – teach your child to express themselves confidently and respectfully.

Additional Resources

Click below to access the recording of the event. Use the password: ed*talks*replay

 

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